Saturday, 2 January 2010

Time.

Time can be good or bad.
Depending on how you look at it.
Tonight i talked to someone i hadn't talked to in close to two years.
She had practically raised me.
And in her family i was welcomed.
I felt as though i belonged.

But certain things happened. Certain people got annoyed, angered even.
Circumstances forced me and her not to speak.
Of course i wanted to speak to her. The only reason i didn't was because i didnt know how to. Lost her email address and didn't have her phone number.

Years ago, i used to always go to her house and spend months on end there.
It was always peaceful compared to my own home at the time.
I bet it still is today.
I wish her and her family knew how grateful i am for everything they've done for me.
I feel horrible that i couldn't talk to them but its better now than never.

So anyway when she picked up the phone and i told her who it was calling, i almost felt the disappointment in her voice.
She was polite but i had to read between the lines to know that she wasn't as overjoyed as i was for the phone call.

I won't lie, i'm pretty sad.
I cried.
Because this one person, the one i used to share all my hopes and dreams with has now completely forgotten about me.
I told her what i hope to do in the future and then asked what she thought.
She said "How can you ask me that when i haven't been part of your life for nearly 2 years?"
She said this with spite.

She's like a mother to me.
To be honest if i was asked today who in this world i consider my mother, i'd probably say her. Even though we haven't spoken for quite sometime, i still very much look at her as a mother;as MY mother.

Time.
It's deadly.
Never let time force you into a position where you cant speak to the ones you love.
I wish i hadnt.
Because now her family doesn't really like me. They say its not true but i know they'd rather me not communicate with them.

I wish they could see how sorry i am if i ever offended them.
And also see that i still love them.
I really wish i could rewind time.

2 comments:

  1. Wow this is a pretty sad post. Maybe you can reintegrate yourself into her life again... at least you've got the memories and those can last forever.

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  2. Yeah i wish i could you know.
    Its terrible.
    But i am trying my extreme hardest to get back into her life.
    Yeah and the memories aren't about to run away from me or anything. So thats one thing i'm happy about.

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