To Whom it May Concern.

Dear Reader,
I'm confused. Scared.
This shouldn't be new seeing as half of the time this is how i am. Not the scared part but the whole confusion thing.
I'm really worried about everything.
Could someone tell me why i always end up caring so much about everyone else that i forget about myself?
Or why in the midst of something important my brain freezes? Just stops?
It's a bad habit i've developed.
Freezing.
And no i dont mean this literally.
I know some of the people close to me won't say it, but i can be frustrating at times.
Call me weird or weak, but i like knowing that people don't hate me. At least the important people. But honestly in general i dislike the thought of someone hating me.
That's why i make sure that the person i am remains the same .i.e. my personality never changes. And i like being the person my friends can come and talk to.
But i have a good reason for it. For being the way i am.
Half of the time i'm not thinking of my feelings or how I'D feel in the end.
I'm thinking of the other person!
Frustrating huh?
If you can keep up with me, and understand all thats going through my mind then please tell me. I need help sometimes knowing whats going on up there.
So in the end it all comes down to me being scared of hurt?or loss?
I think it's both.

So my dear reader, hopefully you'll understand that i mean no harm.
Deep down i'm just a scared little person. I try hiding it. Infact i think i hide it very very well.
But thats not the point. And what is the point?
Point is....................
right, i just lost what the point is!
Seriously, my little memory lapses make me wonder how i ever do well in school!

Maybe if you want to understand why this behaviour creeped in my life, you should look at the year 2005.
I try not to make excuses using my past but its not an excuse!
Its the truth.
And because of my experiences in life, i want to care more, love more, live more, dream more, encourage more, hate less. I want to live a life where i'm the best of me each and every day.
And most of all i am going to laugh more,and smile more.
:)

And for my quote.

"I want to go to a place where i can hold the intangible,
And let go of the pain with all of my might.
I want to go to a place where i'm suspended in happiness.
Somewhere between dark and light where wrong becomes right."
-India Arie, Beautiful.