This Year.

Has not been what I expected at all.
For starters, I don't feel like me anymore. It's like someone has come and taken away the motor which kept me running.
Nowadays I feel constantly drained and less ecstatic.
Before,for instance,when I had something disturbing me, I'd always just let it go and do my best to convince my friends and everyone else that it's okay.
But now, I don't bother hiding the disappointment and lack of enthusiasm for anything.
This is one of the reasons I keep saying I'm amazingly weird.
Makes no sense right?
Well I've never been able to make sense.
A few days ago I realized that I feel more uncertain about my life than I have ever before. I was the one who had my whole life planned out.
It's like there's this longing for something more, an escape.
It's impossible but whenever I'm staring out into space that's what I'm thinking about.
Lately I haven't really been able to sleep because sometimes there's so much going through my mind that sleep evades me.
I just don't feel like me anymore. There's something missing.
I'm trying hard to convince myself that I'm the way I am at the moment because of my exams and work and the fact that I need to take into consideration what I really want to do in the future.
But I can only convince myself so much.
It's all really frustrating. I can't even remember when this all begun.
Perhaps it's always been there, slowly surfacing. But I was too occupied with other things, I didn't realize it.
This Year.
I'm losing me. And I don't know what to do.